Performance Before Character?

Today I read that a very talented football player was having a hard time finding a new team. Seemed no one liked his behavior - he wasn't a 'team player'. Seems to be a bit of that going around...in business, sports, entertainment, even government.

I have often wondered,"At what point is 'exceptional talent and performance' not enough?" I continue to be surprised when we accept temper tantrums, abusive language, arrogance, or just plain disrespect from some of our top performers.

"Top performers create revenues! Who cares if they're a bit eccentric or outspoken? " That's our argument. It's about profits. We excuse this rude, disruptive behavior and then wonder why we can't build a team.

You can tell these people that, "There's no 'I' in team." But they quickly realize that there is a 'ME' and they focus on that! ME above all else. Slogans and cute sayings don't build teams. Relationships build teams...and character builds relationships.

Tolerating these rude behaviors is a short term strategy. It may create immediate results but over time it costs money and reputation. It will not create a team; it will not build relationships.

So, here's something for you to consider when recruiting, hiring, or promoting -take character over performance when you have to choose between the two. In the long run you won't regret it.

And to that talented football player, let your real character come out...I don't think we've seen it yet. Real humility is powerful.

This Year It's Flower or Flour

Anniversaries have symbols for the number of years you've been married. But after 20 years the symbols are limited to every 5 years. So, several years ago Chris and I decided to pick our own symbols for each anniversary. Our gifts to each other would focus on that symbol. Over the years we've symbols like bamboo, leather, unique woods, or pearls.

The fun is in the search...we stressed inexpensive and unique gifts either made from the material or having the material in the name. We've found things like a can of Pearl black olives, a leather scented candle, a wooden plate from Zagreb, and bamboo oil. I have quizzed shop keepers, searched the Internet, wandered through the market place in search of the unusual gift.

This year we're looking for Flower or Flour products. You'd think that would be easy! Well it's not. Remember the criteria is "unique". Today I actually stopped a lady wearing a beautiful Flower T-Shirt and asked where she got it. Since I do this a lot I knew I had to quickly explain so I wouldn't get yelled at, hit or both.

"Oh...isn't that romantic!" is the usual response, followed by, "I wish my husband would do something like that. All I ever get is...". Sidebar to husbands...this is a great way to keep the romance in the marriage.

Well, the lady did make some suggestions for places to try and wished me good luck. So I'm off again...in search of flowers and flour. And, If you happen to see a black velvet picture of a pink hydrangea...drop me a note.

What is Charlie's Backpack?

Sometimes people ask me about Charlie's Backpack. What is it? I tell them that it depends. First it is a real backpack that I have carried around the world on my travels. As such it contains those things that I see as "essentials" - never to be checked on an airline. If I lose the luggage I can get by for a period of time.

Next it is a series of articles that I write for Horizon Publications - Tolland Monthly - about my travels over the past few years. I have assembled some of them into a short book called "Charlie's Backpack" that I plan to make available in 2009.

And last, it's a metaphor for a collections of ideas, reflections, and questions with a little history thrown in to provoke your thinking and release your creativity.

Now you know. So if you're asked, "What is Charlie's Backpack?" you can answer, "It depends; what do you want it to be"!

Give honor where honor is due

Giving honor is about giving respect. Honor is a gift that we give one another. When we honor someone, we recognize their position, accomplishments, and value. We celebrate their achievements. Giving honor does not mean that we have to agree with their beliefs; it means that we extend respect to their position and authority. (I learned to salute the uniform not the person)

Over the past two decades we have become a people who take offense easily. We get offended at almost everything. The "bad call" that official made...the teacher in the classroom...our parents...our bosses...the police and military... our government. And worst of all, we are offended by anyone who has a different point of view.

We have become so critical and judgmental that we focus on what's wrong with someone else and have forgotten how to honor our leaders. Don't believe this? Just listen to the media...they spread most of this criticism and judgment...especially about the government.

And the government is no better. Congress continually criticizes and disrespects each other! Who was the last President we respected and honored? (It wasn't President Reagan. While in office he was "disliked and criticized" too!)

Time for a change and each of us can do our part. Start where you are. Think of people who offend you. Ask yourself,

1. What is one thing that I respect about them?
2. What positive statement can I make about what they have achieved?
3. How can I celebrate their accomplishments?

You'll be surprised how you will change when you shift your focus. Remember, what you focus on, you strengthen. For 2009 focus on honoring others...celebrate with them!

Change Happens!!!

As 2009 opened I heard a commentator say that things will change for the better. Change always promises a better tomorrow. In any organization or institution, change is positioned as things will get better. That’s part of what change managers call “selling the change” or “building the business case”.

In fact, things MAY get worse before they get better. This happens for a few reasons. First our change often overcompensates for the existing conditions. Second, we don’t analyze the potential consequences or impacts of the change we’re planning to make. And third, we believe people are more likely to buy-in to the change if it carries the promise of a happy ending.

Next time you’re planning a change, ask yourself three questions…

· Specifically, what is the situation I am trying to change?
· What are the short and long term consequences of the change?
· What are the positive AND negative aspects of the change that I need to communicate?

If you get stuck or want to change your plans, drop me a note.

Opening the door on 2009

In a few hours we'll open the door on a new year - 2009. It's hard to believe. Where has the 2008 gone? Are the years getting shorter? Or is it the speed with which we live?

2009 is knocking. What lies beyond? What can we expect? Tonight we'll make resolutions. For me, I resolve to make next year slower. I don't want it to pass so fast. I plan to be deliberate in my slowness as a way to be renewed.

I plan to spend quiet time..I mean REAL quite time...in silence. I plan to practice the disciple of silence. No books, no music, no TV, no computer, no distractions. Just the natural sounds that surround me...the ones I usually miss.

I invite you to join me. Time to open the door...and "Go placidly amid the noise and haste,and remember what peace there may be in silence." (Max Ehrmann, 1952)